The Wizards of Oz
by elledottore
Summary: Oneshots from Wicked, but genderbent! The story of two boys from Oz: one blond, one green. Same pairings as cannon.
1. Loathing

**Another new project! Whaaat?! I didn't want to do a full blown genderbent story, so I settled for a series of oneshots instead.**

 **Enjoy!**

Loathing

On the morning of the first day of classes at Shiz, Elphias' first thought was of his excitement over actually getting learn something after three months of logistics and proving to his mother that he was actually capable of doing college level work. His first class of the day was Ozian History, taught by a Doctor Albrea Dillamond. Elphias hadn't really hated or loved any of his classes in high school, but he had to admit, he did have a small partiality for history. Hopefully this Doctor Dillamond actually knew her stuff.

It was only when Elphias sat up that he remembered the one problem with his situation at Shiz: Galindar Upland of the Upper Uplands, which apparently meant that he was "super awesome." Elphias and Galindar got into the predicament of being roommates the day before when Galindar had been bellyaching during orientation about some essay for a sorcery seminar, and had gotten Master Morrible's attention at just the wrong time, when the headmaster just happened to be asking, "Which one of you young men volunteer to room with Master Elphias?" Thus, the hell began.

Elphias looked at the blond boy now, snoring loudly with his mouth hanging open, and suddenly came up with the ultimate payback for Galindar ranting about that stupid essay, cluttering their floor with his extensive weight set, and most crudely, asking Elphias if he was in fact green all over.

Grinning, Elphias took a cup from their sink and filled it with ice cold water. He suppressed a laugh as he walked over to Galindar's bed, its inhabitant still snoring away. With one quick movement, he dumped the water right onto his roommate's head. Galindar immediately jolted awake. "Holy shit! Who the hell …?" Then his eyes focused, and he saw Elphias laughing his head off. "Oh great. Broccoli Boy. What d'ya want?"

"You should've seen your face!" Elphias said gleefully. "Rise and shine, Master Upland! It's time for class! You know, that place where you learn stuff?"

Galindar buried his face into a pillow. "Ugh. Why did I come here again?" He sat up in realization. "Oh, that's right! I came here to learn sorcery, and you took that from me just because you threw a little hissy fit and moved your crippled kid brother's wheelchair around!"

Elphias stepped closer to Galindar in a way that frightened the latter more than he would've liked to admit. "I'm not a violent guy, Galindar. But the last person who insulted my brother got a black eye. Think about that."

"Yeah, I'm sure Nestor feels real good about having to have a wimpy guy like you defending him."

The green boy sighed in exasperation. "Honestly, Galindar, sometimes I think you're just a huge dick."

"Well, I learned something new today!" Galindar said happily. "How to call someone a dick in Nerd Language!"

"Yes. Congratulations, you're very intelligent." Elphias went to the sink to brush his teeth.

"Um, what do you think you're doing?" Galindar asked.

Elphias threw Galindar a look and spoke as best he could. "Uh, brushing ma teeth. What does it look like I'm doing?"

"No, no, no, no. I haven't shaved. I need to shave before I do anything else in the morning."

Elphias spit into the sink irritably. "Well, I need to shave too."

"Then find someplace else to do it, Broccoli Boy."

"Really? Broccoli Boy? Is that the best your one brain cell could come up with?" Elphias took out his razor. "You may be able to bully all the 'losers' on this campus, and your lackeys, and that nice girl Beka-…"

"I thought her name was Bika," Galindar said thoughtfully.

"…but you won't be able to bully me." Tension filled the room as Elphias shaved, and ran a comb through his thick black hair. Galindar secretly envied how Elphias' hair was naturally shiny, without any gel needed. "There you go, Your Majesty," Elphias said when he was done. "It's all yours."

"Took you long enough."

"Well, I'm betting it'll take you even longer, with all the junk you put in your hair."

"Buzz off, green boy."

"Gladly." As he left to go to the bathroom, Elphias surmised that it was either going to be a very fun year or a very long year.

 **Wicked in Latin will be updated next! Please tell me what you thought of this crazy little idea!**

 **Thanks for reading!**

 **Cheers,**

 **Elle Dottore**


	2. A History Lesson

**Hi! Here's the next installment of my genderbent series, but first let me answer a few questions.**

 **Q: Can you do Bessa?**

 **A: I will do Bessa as the original musical dictates. Nothing outside of cannon. Sorry.**

 **Q: Can you write a watching the musical genderbent fanfic?**

 **A: No, I think that plot bunny has more impact when it's just the regular characters. I don't want to make this tooo weird. But Sky Sorrow wrote a wonderful watching the musical story if you want to check that out!  
Q: What about Elphias' parents? **

**A: All will be explained further in later one shots, but here's the basics: Elphias and Nestor have the same father but different mothers (and I really did not mean to reference a Sting song just then), their father died in an accident shortly after Nestor's birth, and Oz is ruled by a woman who calls herself the Grand Witch.**

 **Hope that cleared a few things up! Enjoy!**

A History Lesson

Elphias _loved_ Doctor Dillamond. Not in a perverted way, of course, but he really admired her enthusiasm for history, and the fact that she was _tough_. She cut Galindar no slack whatsoever; in fact, during the first week of classes, she had him stay after class to do the homework that he hadn't done the night before. "It's not fair!" Galindar had whined. "You can't make me stay, you nanny goat!"

"No," she admitted. "I can't make you stay, but I can report your disrespect to Master Morrible and have you expelled from this university." That had shut Galindar up.

Yes, Doctor Dillamond was a Goat, and proud of it. She was very passionate about Animal rights, and often went on long tangents about it during class. Elphias was always torn between really loving what she had to say and wishing she'd get on with the lesson.

One day, she was returning some of their essays to them. "You need to add more detail, Master Glindar," she told him. "You have a lot of fluff in your essay, but no content."

"It's _Ga_ lindar," he corrected her, popping his gum.

Doctor Dillamond forced a smile. "Yes, of course – Glindar."

"Honestly, lady! Can't even get my name right! You know, all my other professors can say my name right."

That was when Elphias officially couldn't take it anymore. Galindar had been raising a ruckus about this since the first day of class, and enough was enough. "You know, I don't think Doctor Dillamond really cares that much about your precious name," Elphias said, turning to face his roommate. "You know, maybe she isn't like every other professor. Maybe some of us are different."

Galindar turned to his friends. "Well, it looks like the broccoli is steamed!"

"CALL ME BROCCOLI ONE MORE TIME!"

"Gentlemen!" Doctor Dillamond yelled, desperately pounding her hoof on the floor to get everyone's attention. "Master Glindar, please take your seat-…"

"It's _Ga_ lindar!"

"And Master Elphias, please take your seat." Once the class was settled down, she spoke again. "While I will _not_ tolerate fighting in my class, I will admit that Master Elphias has a point. I _am_ different from your other professors. I'm the token Goat, if you will. But it wasn't always like this!"

 _Here we go down Memory Lane,_ Elphias thought with a smile.

"When I was a student here, and even when I was a young professor, this school was so much more diverse than it is today!" Doctor Dillamond told them. "You could see an Ape doing geometry! And there was a Cardinal who taught Ancient Ozish. I remember that his class was my favorite." Her smile slowly faded. "But all that is almost lost now. Our dear Oz is becoming less and less …" She caught Elphias' eye. "…colorful. Now, who would like to remind the class how this began? Yes, Master Elphias?"

"The Great Draught," Elphias answered, barely looking up from his notes. "At least according to what I've read."

Doctor Dillamond nodded in approval. "Precisely. Food grew scarce, and people became hungrier and angrier. And so, the question became, 'Whom can we blame?' Now, who would like to tell me the definition of the word 'scapegoat'?" She smiled tiredly as she saw a green hand fly up in the air. "Perhaps someone else besides Master Elphias. Ah! Master Glllllindar!"

"It's _Ga_ lindar!" Galindar exclaimed indignantly. "You know, with a 'Ga'!" Elphias was sure that if he heard that line again, he would punch Galindar in the face. "And why can't you just teach us history instead of going on and on about the past and stuff?"

Doctor Dillamond decided to ignore his impertinence, just this once. "Well, perhaps these discussion questions that I've prepared will generate some-…" But she stopped short when she saw what was on the other side of her board: the sentiment **ANIMALS SHOULD BE SEEN AND NOT HEARD.** "Who did this? This is extremely serious; I need to know who is responsible for this!" She sighed as everyone stayed completely still, proving that, yes, a group of college students can be totally silent when they want to be. "Alright. That will be all for today." But everybody stayed where they were, not quite believing her. "You heard me! Class dismissed!" That time, everyone leapt out their seats and left the classroom eagerly. Well, almost everyone.

"You coming, Elphias?" Nestor asked, turning in the doorway.

Elphias waved him off. "You go ahead, Nestor. I'll see you this afternoon." He turned back to Doctor Dillamond as Nestor left. "Look, I'm sorry about Galindar and … that." He eyed the chalkboard nervously.

"Oh, Master Elphias, don't worry about me," Doctor Dillamond said with a sigh. "Run along and join your friends."

"That's alright; I have no friends."

"B-but, Master Nestor-…"

"He's my brother," Elphias said quickly. "He doesn't count." He sat down at one of the empty desks and got out his lunch. "Want some of my lunch?"

Doctor Dillamond smiled and took the wrapper of Elphias' sandwich. "Thank you. You're very kind." She felt a pang of empathy for this awkward, genuinely kind, green boy who pretended that he wasn't bothered by the fact that he had no friends, even though he obviously was. It made her think of her own experience in school, being bullied for being an Animal. But she had had friends, most of whom were also Animals. Elphias had no one except for his brother, who, from Doctor Dillamond's observations, only stayed with Elphias because he needed the help. This fact, and the vandalism of her chalkboard, made Doctor Dillamond's stomach churn. She put down the half eaten paper. "I seem to have lost my appetite."

"You shouldn't let ignorant statements like that get to you," Elphias told her. "I mean, I always do, but you shouldn't."

"It wouldn't get to me if this was just an isolated event," Doctor Dillamond said. "But it isn't. All over Oz, Animals are starting to only be seen and not heard."

"You mean they're losing their ability to speak?"

"Exactly. Even some of my old friends and colleagues are starting to lose contact with me. It's almost like an epidemic. It's a baaa-…" Her eyes grew wide as she realized what had just come out of her mouth.

Elphias panicked. "Doctor Dillamond, are you alright? Can I get you something to drink?"

"No, I … I don't know what came over me just then." She sat down on her desk, looking very distressed, so Elphias decided that the best thing to do would be to move on and forget it even happened.

"So, you're saying that Animals are somehow forgetting how to speak? That doesn't make sense! I mean, how can somebody just forget how to speak?"

Doctor Dillamond shrugged. "You can keep anyone silent with enough pressure. But I, for one, will not let them-…"

But she was interrupted by the sudden arrival of Master Morrible. "Good day, Doctor Dillamond," he said. "I was just informed of the unfortunate disturburance that occurred during your class. Are you alright, Doctor?" But he didn't even give her a chance to answer before he caught sight of Elphias, who was futilely hoping that staying perfectly still and silent would somehow make him invisible. "Master Elphias, you're still here? Hm, I would have thought you would've been on your way to my seminar by now."

Elphias stood up straighter in an attempt to look at least somewhat respectable. "Yes, Headmaster, I would be, but-…"

Master Morrible raised an eyebrow. "But? I do hope I've not misplaced my trust in you. Magic is a demanderating master, especially if one has ambitions to meet the Grand Witch. I'm sure Doctor Dillamond sees my point." Then, with a swish of his robes, he left the classroom. Elphias involuntarily shuddered.

"I better go," he said, gathering up his books. "Master Morrible does not like to be kept waiting." But as he made to leave, something stopped him. "Doctor Dillamond, if something bad is happening to the Animals, I'm sure the Grand Witch could do something about it. I mean, that's why she's here! To keep Oz wonderful!"

Doctor Dillamond smiled at his optimism. "I hope you're right, Master Elphias."

 **Fiyera will make her first appearance in the next one, so that's something to look forward to, right?**

 **Hope you liked it! Thanks for reading!  
Cheers,**

 **Elle Dottore**


	3. The Vinkun Princess

The Vinkun Princess

One day after class, Galindar and all his friends had gathered in his room to discuss their wild anticipation for the arrival of Princess Fiyera Tigulaar of the Vinkus, who was, in Galindar's words, "the hottest chick in all of Oz." That earned a huge eye roll from Elphias. After all, this girl would be the queen of the Vinkus one day. She probably wouldn't want to be defined by her looks. Eventually, Galindar and his brainless oafs got so loud that Elphias could not concentrate on his reading for history class. Deciding that some fresh air would do him good, Elphias went out to the courtyard. He did not sit down anywhere, but read as he walked due to a sudden impulse to improve his health.

Elphias knew that this would have him labeled as a "geek," but he was absolutely fascinated by what he was reading. _Edwino Hameel proposed a financial plan that would have all four provinces of Oz pay off the debt from the Quoxian War equally. This plan also contained a blueprint for a national bank that would economically unify the provinces. When Hameel presented his plan to the royal court, Ozma the Just seemed neutral, but another one of her advisers, Bfee Jeefer, called Hameel's plan outrageous and tyrannical …_

All of sudden, Elphias found himself knocked off his feet by something hitting him in the side as it passed. He stood up to see an open carriage being driven by what looked like a servant girl. When he got over to the carriage, now stopped, he saw a brunette girl sleeping inside. She would have been beautiful, Elphias thought, if she wasn't drooling with strands of hair in her mouth. And chivalry did not prevent him from knocking her over the head with his book.

"Sir!" the servant girl exclaimed, outraged. "Do you know who this is?! This is the Princess Fiyera!"

"I don't care who she is!" Elphias said angrily. He shook the girl in the carriage, Fiyera. "Wake up, you!"

"Whossat?" Fiyera groaned, wiping the spit from her face. "Are we at Shiz already?" But she was jolted fully awake when she saw the green boy glaring at her. "Whoa! Who're you?"

"The guy you nearly killed just now with your carriage. Honestly, your carriage knocks me to the ground, and you're sleeping?!"

Fiyera grinned. "Well, yeah! It's daytime." She turned to her servant. "See you soon, Averia. I don't expect to stay here any longer than I did at any of the other schools."

"Alright, see ya, bestie!" Averia said. Elphias watched in mild amusement as the girls did some strange clapping routine before Averia drove away.

"Is this really how you go through life?" Elphias demanded. "Just mowing people down without even noticing them?!"

"Well, maybe Averia just saw green and thought it meant 'go,'" Fiyera said, taking care to accompany the remark with her sweetest "princess" smile. She was a bit crestfallen when the strange green boy just rolled his eyes and walked away.

But no matter. She was at _Shiz_! New school, new friends, and most importantly, a brand new crop of guys to fool around with. As always, her parents had given her the usual lecture before she left about reaching her full potential, being queen one day, blah blah blah. She wasn't queen yet; she was still young, and isn't being young all about having fun?

"Hey, sexy!" Speaking of fun, Fiyera caught sight of a blond boy approaching her. Admittedly, he wasn't tall or dark, but he was _very_ handsome. "My name's Galindar Upland, of the Upper Uplands. You're Princess Fiyera, right?"

"That's me," she said with a giggle.

"Tell me, Your Highness, are you looking for something or … someone?"

Fiyera tossed her hair and decided to be coy with him. "Well, I am looking for my history class."

"That's the history building right over there, my friend," a Munchkin girl said, walking over to them. She tried to pull Fiyera away from Galindar, but Galindar pulled her back, making Fiyera feel like she was the object of a tug-of-war game.

"That class just ended," Galindar told her.

She smiled widely. "Oh! Perfect timing, then. So, Master Galindar, what do people do for fun around here?"

"Well, to tell the truth, Miss Fiyera, we haven't had that much fun … until now." Oh yeah. Fiyera definitely liked this guy.

"We've been studying!" the Munchkin girl cut in.

"Studying?" Fiyera repeated, as if that was a foreign concept. "Excuse me, miss, what's your name?"

"Beka."

"Well, Beka, I think it's time for you to stop relying on books …" And at this, she took Beka's history textbook and tossed it away casually. "And start relying on looks. Why, you could come over to my suite tonight and I could get you a makeover."

"B-but for what?"

"For the party I'm throwing tonight, of course! Master Galindar, what's the most swankified place in town?"

"That would be the Ozdust Ballroom," Galindar said with a grin. "And I'm sort of the king of this place, so I guarantee that the majority of the school population will be in attendance."

Fiyera squealed. "Brilliant! You're amazing, Master Galindar!"

"Oh, just call me Galindar."

"Only if you'll call me Fiyera." She giggled again, which made Beka sick to her stomach. After all, she had known Galindar before this princess bitch came on the scene. But she had never made a move on him, so Fiyera had every right to him. Still, one last ditch effort couldn't hurt …

"Master Galindar!" Beka called, making him turn around. Oz, he was magnificent. "I-I would be honored if you asked me to dance with you. I'll wait all night for you."

"Y'know, Bika, you're such a … kind girl," Galindar began.

"It's Beka."

"But you know what would be even kinder? See that poor guy over there in the wheelchair?" Galindar pointed over to Nestor, who was sitting by the fountain, studying. "That's Nestor Thropp, you know, Broccoli Boy's kid brother? I really don't want him to feel left out, so I wish there was someone who could invite him to the party tonight."

"Well … I could invite him if you want."

"Aww, thanks, Bika, you're the best!" Beka didn't even care that he gotten her name wrong again; he had called her the best! Too cool! Sure, she wasn't that excited about going to the party with the clean cut crippled boy she was now approaching, but it had made Galindar happy, and that was enough for her.


	4. Brotherly Love

**Hello! More genderbent madness!  
And by the way, here's my cast list:**

 **Elphias – a young Anthony Stewart Head**

 **Galindar – Jonah Platt**

 **Fiyera – Ali Mauzey**

 **Nestor – Anthony Ramos**

 **Beka – Alyson Hannigan**

 **Doctor Dillamond – Maggie Walsh**

 **Master Morrible – Will Ferrell**

 **The Grand Witch – Idina Menzel (who else?)**

 **Enjoy!**

Brotherly Love

"Hey! Elphias! There you are! Been looking for you everywhere!" Elphias turned to see Nestor rolling up to him, smiling widely. "You will never guess what just happened to me."

"What?"

"I just had a conversation with a girl," Nestor said proudly. "And I didn't initiate it, and she wasn't asking if I needed help with something! Isn't that awesome?"

Elphias shrugged. "I guess. I mean, I talked to a girl today too."

"Are you kidding me? Who was it? What happened?"

"Fiyera, that ditzy rich girl who arrived today." He rolled his eyes just thinking about her. "Her fancy cart knocks me flat on my face, and she treats it like it's no big deal. And now everyone's off to worship her at this cultish social gathering."

"Even me!" Nestor exclaimed. "You know Beka, that cute little Munchkin girl? She's the one who talked to me today. She asked me to go with her! She was very nervous, I could tell, and Galindar had to encouragize her-…"

"Galindar?!"

"Oh, come on, Elphias, what has Galindar actually done to you besides be a little bit obnoxious sometimes?"

"'A little bit' is an understatement …"

Nestor ignored him. "Nothing! But he's done something great for me! Without him, I wouldn't be taking Beka to the dance tonight. I'm about to have the first really fun night of my life, because of Galindar! Elphias, don't you understand?"

"You know? I think I do." Elphias knew exactly what he had to do to repay Galindar: get the blond boy into that damn seminar. He hated to do it, as Master Morrible's sorcery seminar was currently his only Galindar-free time during the day (and night, now that he thought about it). But his love for his brother outweighed his hatred for his roommate.

It took about a half hour to convince Master Morrible to let Galindar into the seminar. "Master Elphias, you must understand," Master Morrible said, exasperated. "Master Galindar has no aptitude for sorcery whatsoever. He would not-…"

"Headmaster, if you don't, I will quit the seminar."

Master Morrible froze. He suddenly realized that his eccentric pupil had him in a tighter grip than Elphias knew. Morrible could not afford to lose this boy; he was the best sorcery student Shiz had seen in years. Her Ozness needed him … "Very well, Master Elphias. I will include Master Galindar in sorcery. Why you think this is a good idea, I do not know, but I'm willing to try it."

"Thank you, sir!" Elphias turned to leave, but then thought of something else. "And Headmaster?"

"Yes?"

"Could you tell him tonight? He'll be at the Ozdust for most of the night, probably." Master Morrible couldn't help but detect a small eye roll from Elphias.

"Of course, Master Elphias."

Meanwhile, Galindar and two of his friends, Pfannex and Sheene, were in his room, getting ready for the party "Yo, Pfa!" Galindar called. "Help me tie this tie. I gotta look absolutely slick for Fiyera!"

Pfannex hoisted himself off of Elphias' bed. "Sure thing. I hate ties, you know! But hey, girls like them, so what are you gonna do?"

"Whoa, dude!" Sheene suddenly exclaimed from Galindar's dresser. "What in Oz name is _this_?!" Galindar and Pfannex turned to see Sheene holding a black pointed hat with a narrow brim out in front of him like a dead animal.

"Aw, shit!" Galindar moaned, taking the hat. "I thought I got rid of this! My grandpa keeps sending me his old clothes, you know, like I would actually wear them." He looked at the hat disgustedly. "And this is the worst yet. Honestly, I wouldn't wish this hat on my worst enemy."

"Sure about that, Dar?" Pfannex asked with a grin. "'Cause you know what would be absolutely _hilarious_?"

"Oh, sweet Oz, Pfannex, you are a mad genius!" They high fived. But then Galindar thought of something. "But would he fall for it?"

Sheene scoffed. "That guy would wear a garbage bag as long as it was black! So emo. He really creeps me out sometimes."

Galindar was about to agree when they suddenly heard footsteps coming toward the room. "He's coming! Act like you're just leaving!"

Sure enough, not even a minute later, Elphias unceremoniously burst into the room and glared at Galindar and his friends. "When are you _not_ with that posse of yours?" Elphias grumbled, mostly to himself.

"Alright, Dar, see you at the party!" Pfannex said as he and Sheene left the room. "It should be epic!"

"Oh yeah!" Galindar closed the door and grinned at his roommate. "Elphias! My man! How're you doing?"

"Um … good, I guess," Elphias answered warily. _So it's "Elphias" now, and not "Broccoli Boy." That's new._ "Look, Nestor was just telling me what you did for him, and … well, you made him really happy, so that was actually really good of you, so … truce?"

"Absolutely! And, in honor of that, I am inviting you to the little shindig we're having at the Ozdust tonight."

"I don't know. I have a lot of homework …"

"Screw homework! Live a little! It'll be awesome, I promise. And look, I even got this for you to wear." He held out his grandfather's hat, trying to hide a grin. _This is for dumping water on me, Broccoli Boy._

"Alright, if you say so." Elphias considered the possibility that this could be a trick, but honestly, charitable or not, he didn't think Galindar had the brainpower to come up with something like that. And so, Elphias was off to his first party ever.

 **Voila! And by the way, I imagine Elphias' hat to look like the one Professor McGonagall wears during most of the Quidditch matches in the movies, except black instead of green checked.**

 **Thanks for reading!  
Cheers,**

 **Elle Dottore**


End file.
